


this is the way the world ends

by bespokenboy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Smut, Weeb Suho, suho is a weeb in all my canon fics tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-08 22:44:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3226244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bespokenboy/pseuds/bespokenboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joonmyun and Yifan discuss their theoretical plans for an apocalypse. Non-AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	this is the way the world ends

Yifan is in one of his moods again, and Joonmyun doesn't know why. When the other members tease Yifan for choking on his water at dinner, he doesn't even try to laugh it off this time, and Joonmyun can tell that something is on his mind.   
  
He knows that Yifan is the introverted type, more introspective than what people give him credit for. It's comforting to be around someone similar to himself, someone who doesn't mind the quiet. Someone who understands what it's like to get lost in thought. But sometimes it's scary when Yifan is so blank, so quiet that Joonmyun has no idea what is on his mind.   
  
"Yifan?" Joonmyun asks after they've returned to their hotel room for the night. "Are you doing okay?"  
  
Like a moody teenager, Yifan shrugs and slumps onto his bed in his street clothes. Joonmyun sits on the edge of the mattress and tentatively places a hand on his shoulder, quickly removing it when Yifan shrugs away his touch. He sits quietly beside Yifan, torn between wanting to give him space and giving him comfort.   
  
After a few tense minutes, Yifan finally speaks.   
  
"I'm sorry you got stuck with me," he mumbles, more towards his pillow than towards Joonmyun.   
  
"I didn't get stuck with you," Joonmyun corrects. He chokes out a laugh, but it sounds forced, even to his own ears. "I  _chose_  you."  
  
They both know that Joonmyun is referring to something heavier that goes beyond Joonmyun choosing Yifan to be his roommate for the night.  
  
"You wanna talk about it?" Joonmyun asks quietly.   
  
Yifan shrugs, and Joonmyun flops onto the bed with a sigh. He's happy that Yifan has enough trust in him enough to show this tired, flawed side of him, but it's also exhausting to Joonmyun at the same time. Sometimes when they have the chance, they just lay in bed, being exhausted together.   
  
Joonmyun is staring blankly up at the ceiling when Yifan breaks the silence.   
  
"What would you do if it was our last day together?"  
  
Hearing Yifan's question makes Joonmyun's heart sink, because it could only mean one thing, something that Joonmyun doesn't want to think about.   
  
"You mean like if the apocalypse was coming and it was our last night on earth together?" he asks, trying to be facetious. He tries to sound naive to what Yifan might actually mean.   
  
"Yeah. Sure," Yifan sighs in defeat.   
  
"Does Kris-hyung believe in the apocalypse? With alien invasions and stuff? Because there's a really great anime that I would recommend–"  
  
"I know, we watched it together."   
  
“But did you watch the movies? The white-haired guy shows up a lot in one of them! We should watch them tonight, I think you’d really like it.”  
  
“Maybe later, but Joonmyun, please answer my question.”  
  
Joonmyun considers for a moment, and then tells him, “I would want to spend it normally, I guess. Anything as long as I could come home to you.”  
  
“Home?”  
  
“Like, to our dorm.”  
  
“But our dorm isn’t our home. It’s just somewhere we stay when we aren’t somewhere else.”  
  
“If it’s somewhere we both return to at night, then it’s home.”  
  
Joonmyun doesn’t know why Yifan wants to talk about this now, of all times, so he tries to distract Yifan by pulling his own shirt off and wiggling out of his pants. He tugs at the hem of Yifan’s shirt, and Yifan lifts his arms up for Joonmyun to divest him of his clothing. Once they are fully unclothed except for their boxers, Joonmyun slips his leg between Yifan's. He frowns a little when Yifan's scratchy, hairy legs rub against his, hairless smooth ones.   
  
"I thought you said you were going to shave your legs for me."  
  
"I...I don't know about that, Joonmyun."  
  
Joonmyun gives a dissatisfied little grunt, but burrows closer into him nonetheless. His hand reaches out to grasp the remote on the nightstand, and he powers the television on. It's almost curfew—Joonmyun can hear his bandmates returning to the rooms adjacent to theirs. There is noise and movement in the hallways, but everyone knows better than to intrude when the leaders are locked up in their room together.   
  
Neither of them are particularly interested in the evening news, so Joonmyun eventually mutes the television. Yifan holds Joonmyun in his arms, and they just chat idly with each other about things that don’t matter. But the tension between them has yet to be alleviated, and their words soon run out.   
  
When that happens, Joonmyun pulls Yifan up to sitting position so they can continue their conversation through kisses. He kisses him like it's the last time they will ever see each other again, even though that's the last thing he wants to think about. Something he never wants to think about, if he's being completely honest with himself. The mood between them is somber, and Joonmyun doesn't think he's ever kissed anyone so desperately, as though his life depended on it.   
  
"If we're pretending," Joonmyun whispers roughly, "that this is the apocalypse and that we won’t see each other again after tomorrow, let's do it seriously this time."   
  
They usually just mess around in bed, clumsy and impatient, but Joonmyun wants to savor every lingering touch for once.   
  
Yifan's eyebrows quirk up momentarily in surprise, and then his expression darkens. "Okay," he agrees, slipping his hand into Joonmyun's boxers.  
  
"We'll take it slow," Joonmyun promises, grinding his hips up slowly into Yifan's fist.   
  
"Even though we're running out of time?"  
  
"Especially because we're running out of time."  
  
As Yifan enters Joonmyun slowly with hesitant nudges, Joonmyun locks his heels behind Yifan's back, encouraging him to press in harder. In his desperation to be penetrated, Joonmyun completely forgets about their promise to take their time. He’s not used to going slow. Every leisurely thrust of Yifan's hips is agonizing, and Joonmyun is trembling by the time he finds his release. It's more sensual, more intimate than they've ever managed, and the tender ache of orgasm reaches Joonmyun's heart this time.   
  
Joonmyun leans in to demonstrate how he would kiss Yifan if it was their last kiss on earth together. It's slow but insistent, as Joonmyun takes his time tasting Yifan's lips and feeling the warm darkness of his mouth. Their chests are pressed together, and Yifan can feel how shaky Joonmyun's breaths are. It doesn't feel like they're acting out a hypothetical situation. It feels like something much too real, and they're both so close to shattering.   
  
In spite of his exhaustion and Yifan's murmurs urging him to rest, Joonmyun fights to stay awake as long as he can. Through sheer willpower alone, he manages to remain just lucid enough to check every so often that Yifan's body is still next to his. But his limbs are too weak and exhausted to prevent Yifan from leaving even if he tried.   
  
Before meeting Yifan, Joonmyun's checklist for an ideal partner had been so superficial and shallow, back when he thought that a relationship could get by on physical attraction alone. But soon he came to realize that he needed to be with someone who could fulfill him emotionally, not just someone to satisfy him physically. He discovered that there was no better lover than one who could also be a friend, and Yifan was both.   
  
 _If this love_ , Joonmyun wonders just before drifting back into unconsciousness,  _then why does it hurt?_  
  
Joonmyun wakes up to a steady thumping in his ears. He almost mistakes it for his own heartbeat, before realizing that it's the sound of drums. He recognizes it as the sound of Yifan's morning alarm. Was it time to wake up already? It couldn't be, since they were supposed to have the day off until their afternoon flight.   
  
The mattress shifts, and the solid presence beside him disappears. Joonmyun is cold without the warm crook of Yifan's elbow to nestle into. He wants to reach out for Yifan, but his muscles are paralyzed, and he's powerless to do anything other than let out a little whimper.   
  
Yifan turns around and leans down to kiss Joonmyun on the forehead.   
  
"Don't wait for me," he whispers.   
  
Through half-closed eyelids, Joonmyun watches the the shadowy edges of Yifan's body as his outline softens, blurs, then vanishes altogether.


End file.
